A Flame in the Dark
by Jasmine James
Summary: UPDATED! CHAPTER 14 UP! Pony has lost the will to live. He has lost the will to do everything. Though when he is forced to get a roommate will he be saved or will he be in a bigger pickle than he thought?
1. Chapter 1

My name is Zoe Ann Petro. I am 16 years old and ha freshmen in high school. I live in England, as I have all my life. Though this year for school I'm leaving. I am going to America on an exchange school trip. Right now I'm on a train, heading strait for the place I'll call home fore the next year. Tulsa, Oklahoma.

.Zoe Ann Perto.

I looked out of the window as the train slowed. I couldn't believe that this was happening! All around me people were shifting and getting their things so they could get off once the train stopped. Finally the train came to a screeching halt, I leached forward and almost fell over. I stood up and brushed off my light brown pants and baby blue blouse. I took my white messenger bag, that I had decorated with many different color pins and buttons, and slug it over my shoulder. I then reached up and grabbed my small black roll-a-long bag and headed out the door.

I was greeted by a halo of sunshine on the horizon. I blinked and pushed my stubborn white blond hair out of my dark blue, practically purple, eyes. I looked at the busy station around me. It wasn't at all colorful. The walls were all gray bricks, some painted on my hoods, they didn't seem nice and welcoming like they should be. The floors were white tile that had been coated in a thin layer of grime, they looked as if they hadn't been cleaned in _years_. The people around me were also plain and unwelcoming. They pushed and shoved their way around me to go where ever they were headed.

I didn't really know where to go or even what I was looking for. I had been told very little about my host family. I knew that they were three brothers. Darryl, Soda and Pony Curtis. Darryl was the oldest and the guardian at the age of 23. Next came Soda, the middle child at the age of 17. Last was Pony, the youngest and the only one left in school, (Soda was a drop out.) at the age of 15, one year younger then me but he skipped a grade. I had no clue what they looked like or acted like. They seemed nice enough though.

I noted that I was blocking the train and quickly walked the same way that everyone else was going. I looked for anyone who might have been there to get me. I saw friends greet one another, lovers reunite, and family wishing off loved ones but no on seemed to want or even notice me. I slowed my pace and scanned the crowd again. All of the sudden I saw a small white sigh pop up above the heads of the many people. The sign was small and white, bobbing up and down in the crowd. I squinted and tried to make out the messy black writing and finally decoded the tangled letters. It was a name, and not just any name. It was my name. I smiled and walked towards it, knowing it must be the Curtis'.

Halfway there I was able to see three people waiting. The one in the middle was clearly Darryl. He was huge. He was extremely tall and had huge muscles. His eyes were tired and it was easy to see that he as over worked. It made me wonder why he wanted to be a host family when it would only mean more work if he was already in this state? I pushed this though aside and looked at the other two.

On Darryl's left was what seemed to be the middle child. He was slightly taller then the other one on the right. Not to mention that he was beautiful. His eyes seemed to smile just as big, maybe bigger, then his actual mouth. He seemed care free and loose hanging. Though still there was something about him that was like a loose cannon, like he would just... pop and any moment.

The very last on the far right was, by default, Pony. HE didn't look like he wanted to be there. He was looking out the window, gazing longingly at the sunset. His arms were crossed at his chest and his eyes were narrowed. Though there was also a point to his face that made him seem haunted, like was was just a shell. He was small, very skinny and bony. It was gray and there were huge bags under his eyes, like he hadn't slept in days. His mouth showed small laugh lines and it was simple fact that someone like him need a hug and a good laugh.

I thought about what they would think when they saw me. I looked down at what I was wearing. It was simple light brown pants that were the same color as brown sugar. On the top I was wearing one of my favorite shirts. It was baby blue and had a bunged color. With puffy sleeves and flowed down my body. My hair was a little longer then my chin and was mostly straight but with a little wave in the middle. It was also white blond and I had long side bangs that often covered my left eye. I was a bit a rebel, I liked to speak my mind. When people told me that I couldn't do something, I didn't like it. I have strong opinions about everything in life and like to ask many questions. Though I don't think that they would be able to pick that up just by looking up me.

I finished walked over and cleared my throat to get their attention. They looked at me. Well, Darryl looked down to see my small 5'4" body but you understand what I mean.

"Are you Zoe?" Darryl asked. I nodded, not sure of what else to do. His voice was gruff and just as over worked sounding as his body is. "Well, my name is Darryl Curtis but you can call me Darry. This is my brother Soda, and my other brother Pony." He explained and I nodded again, seeing as my predictions were correct. Soda immediately butted in.

"Hi! I'm Soda! I'm so happy that you're coming to stay with up for the year! This is going to be great!" He said in a chipper voice sticking out his hand and when I toke it shaking it roughly. I smiled at him and replied,

"It very nice to meet you all. I'm very thankful that I'm able to be here right now." I told them all, though I was ignored by Pony. Darry seemed to notice though and bumped him on the shoulder and said in a meant to be hushed though not very hushed tone,

"Pony, say hello." He rolled his eyes at his older brother and turned to me.

"Hello." He said in the most terrible voice I head ever heard. It was quiet and eerie, when he spoke all the voices in the background seemed to fade away and my inner silence was sliced into nothing by his cruelness of that one simple word that was used so often around the world. I then couldn't manage to say anything back, I merely stood there with my mouth open.

Soda, on the other hand, totally missed all of this for the fact that he was still in a state of shock because of my accent.

"Wow." he finally said. I turned to him, glad to find a reason to look away from the eyes of Pony who had seemed to had put me into some kind of trance.

"What?" I asked him. Keeping back a small giggle at _his_ funny accent.

"You talk.... funny." He finally said and I let out a laugh.

"Well, you talk funny too!" I said in a terrible attempt to copy _his_ accent. He started to laugh with me and put an arm around my and smiled.

"I do think we're going to get along." He said copying my accent. I laughed as Darry lead us to the car. A grumbling Pony in the rear.

.Zoe Ann Petro.

**So this is the start of my new story! Please tell me what you think and I'll post more soon.**

**-Jasmine**


	2. Chapter 2

As we speed down the road I looked out the window. This town was much different then my small cottage in England. There I had lived on a farm. We had a set routine there. I would wake up at five with the sun and do my jobs, feed the animals and clean the house. My mother would make breakfast and I didn't have a father. No tragic story there. I just never had a father. My mother never talked about him and I never asked. I think that he didn't even know that she was going to have me. I would then go to school and when I would get home I would do my homework and then make dinner. Around the same time that I came home from working out in the farm. It was a simple life and I liked it. I hope there was something like that here. I hoped that the time wouldn't become an issue. Where I was from we woke and slept with the sun. I was hoping it wouldn't make a difference here.

Right now Darry and Soda are talking about something random in the front and Pony and I are sitting in the back. I'm not really sure what his problem is but I was going to find out. I made a mental note to ask where I got a chance.

Soon we pulled into a drive way and the car stopped. Well all got out and I took my bags. The house was small, not that I minded. I liked small. It had a small white fence around. The house was nice. I gave it an overall thumbs up.

It was dark out and I was starting to get very tired. I fallowed the brothers up the crooked front steps and into the house. There were two other boys in th living room. They nodded at Darry, Soda, and Pony. Darry went to the kitchen. Saying, "I'm making dinner." while walking. Soda sat down next to one boy who had dark curly hair. While Pony grumbled and went up stairs, probably to him room. I stood there, awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"So is this the new kid?" Asked a boy sitting on the floor. He had rusty brown hair with long side burns. He was drinking a beer and watching TV.

"Yea." Soda said back, "This is Zoe. Zoe" He turned to me, "These are our family friends Steve and Two-Bit." He told me motioning to the two boys. The one next to him was Steve and other one on the floor was Two-Bit. I looked at him for a moment to see if he was kidding. Did everyone here have weird name?

"Two-Bit?" I asked, "His name is Two-Bit?" Soda nodded and Two-Bit started to laugh.

"Man, Soda! Listen to her! _Two-Bit"_ He copied me over doing my accent.

"Yes, yes." I said, "It's very funny." He continued to laugh and I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

"Soda?" I asked, "Where am I going to sleep?" I asked him. He thought for am moment.

"Um, I think that you going to be sharing a room... Is that okay?" he talked slowly, almost as if he was waiting for me to explode and yell at him.

"No, it's fine. Who am I sharing a room with?" I couldn't help but wish that it was Soda, he seemed like the kind of person who I would have easiest time getting along with. Darry seemed to distant and Pony... well.... he seemed like the kind of person who wold try to kill me in the middle of the night if the night.

"Oh, well, you'll be sharing a room with Pony. That is if it isn't t much." He told me. I felt my face fall. Though I nodded anyway.

Can you show me the room? I need to get ready for bed." I told him. He nodded and got up."Bed?" Steve asked, "It's only like, 6!" I looked at him.

"I sun is down, it's dark out." I told him. He snorted.

"Just because it's dark out doesn't mean that you have to sleep."

"Well, that how life was for me." I told him. He rolled his eyes and sighed turning back to the small TV. I took that as the end of the conversation and fallowed Soda upstairs. Just outside a small brown door I stopped him.

"Wait" I said. He turned to me, "I have a two questions." I told him.

"Okay, what?" He asked me and I took a deep breath. I almost chickened out, but I quickly said my question while I still had the confidence.

"First, Why did you want to be a host family. Second, I hope you don't mind me asking, but, what's wrong with Pony? He seemed.... cold." I finished. He nodded.

"Come 'ere." He told me and lead me into a different room. HE sat down on the bed and motioned for me to fallow. I did and sat down next to him with a flop.

"Okay. To answer yer first question. Pony had always wanted to do something like this. He would ask Darry every year but he always said no. This year he didn't ask, though Darry thought that someone coming here could open him up to others. You know, someone 'is age someone he can talk to." I nodded, though not really still understanding. From what I knew of Pony he didn't really seem like the person who would like to do this. Soda continued, "As to what's wrong with Pony. Well, we don't know for sure. Last year, two of our friends died. Pony took it pretty hard, we all did! Though we all came back and Pony never really did. He left us. He's like a shell now. We can hardly ever get him to talk and he only comes down from his room when he's hungry or has to go to the bathroom." I held up a hand to stop him. I didn't want to hear the rest. I put a hand over my mouth and looked down in attempts to cover my eyes so he wouldn't know I was crying. I could feel the small tears rolling down my face and tried with all my might to make them stop. I didn't get why I cared so much. I didn't even know the kids and I barley knew Pony. Finally I managed to stop and felt another yawn escape my mouth.

"Come on." Soda told me, getting back to a better mood, "You seem tired. Let's get you off to bed, I'll bring up some food and we'll get you all ready tomorrow." I nodded and fallowed him out the door and we stopped again in front of the small brown door. Soda knocked on it and called in,

"Pony, open up. It's me."

There was moving on the other side and soon there was a soft click and the door flew open. Pony looked up at me and gave me the meanest look I had ever seem. He then turn to Soda and gave him the same look, though raising one eyebrow. He seemed to be asking, "What the hell is _she _doing here?"

"Remember Pon?" Soda asked, "You're going to be sharing a room with her. That's why we separated the beds. He groaned and rolled his eyes but still moved from the door. Soda walked in after him with my roll-a-long. He put it on one of the beds and motioned for me to fallow. Hesitantly I did.

To say that it was clean, is an understatement. The small room had two beds, one next to the window and one next the the wall. There was a small night table between. The bed that was going to be mine was the closest to the door and the closet. The door was open to the closet and I saw that there were only clothes on one side, the other must have been meant for me. On the other side of the room there was a desk next to the bed. The desk was the only messy thing there, and even that wasn't very. It had tons of papers all over it and there was a small trashcan under it that was slightly overflowing with crumpled up pieces of paper. Other than that the room was empty.

When I walked into the room I felt out of place. I tired to take up the least amount as possible.

"Okay," Soda said slapping his hands together, "Well, I'm going to head down stairs. If you need anything let me know, Zoe. And I'll bring up some food for you soon." He then turned to Pony, "I hope I'll be seeing you down stairs soon. You two have fun." With that he walked out the door. I had the sudden urge to call after him and beg him to let me sleep somewhere else. Though I held my tongue, this was my only chance to be in America, I wasn't going to blow it. I then turned to Pony. His cold gray-green eyes glared at me. I found my glaring back.

"So..." I trailed off. The eerie silence that had filled the room was pushing down on me. I felt the need to say something. But what could I say? He continued to look at me. He had himself as far away from me as possible, almost like a was some kind of virus.

I closed my eyes and sat on the edge of my bed. I put my head in my hands. I imagined that I was back in England and when I opened my eyes I was be looking at the colorful walls of my bed room. Though I couldn't. I could feel his cruel eyes boring into me. I forced my self to put on a small smile and look up. Hes still there, still looking at me.

"I don't bite." I told him. He clenched his jaw at my words and took a step forward. Instinctively I took a step back. He let out a short laugh. It horse and empty. It was cruel and mocking. In a slow voice that was just as bad as the laugh he said quietly, "I don't either." Though it seemed to be a bit of a joke I felt a chill run down my spin. His every word was laced with venom. Much to my displeasure he continued, "Here's how it going to work. You're going to stay on your side of the room, use _your_ side of the closet and stay out of _my_ life." I swallowed and worked up all my courage to say something back. When I didn't he turn and went to sit down at his desk.

I could feel sleepiness ready to take me and went to the bathroom and changed into my pajamas. When I walked back in her was still there, at his desk writing.

"Pony." I said, not really sure what I was planning to do. He didn't turn around, though I saw his pencil stop moving so I took that as I sign that he was listening.

"If you need someone to talk to... I'm a good listener. I can't say that I know what you're going through, no one but you knows how you feel, but I've been in the same situation and I can help." I told him. I remembered the day when I had gotten bad new myself. I was little, around 7 and my best friend was in a fire. She had been hurt real bad and by the end of the year she died. I had cried so bad and not been myself for months. I didn't think that anyone knew what I was going through. They all had tried to help me, telling me it was alright. I didn't believe them though. Though when I saw what was happening to me I knew that it was meant to happen. She was in pain here on Earth, it was better for her to leave. That's what I do on my weekends now. I volunteer at local hospital. I work with the dying and help their family get threw with it. What I keep telling everyone is that everything happens for a reason. I guess that was why I was here with Pony. I was not only here for a chance to get my chance in America but also I was here to help Pony. Then and there I made a promise to myself that I was going to get Pony back to normal whatever it takes.

I didn't think that Pony was going to respond. It was something that you just say to people, they don't say anything back. It was sort of like a peace offering. I was quite surprised when his head slowly turned around.

"No." He said getting out of his chair and coming over to me. "You don't know what I'm feeling and you _don't _ know what it's like. Don't even try. I second you leave I will be so happy. I don't care what you have to say and I don't care what you think. Just _stay out of my LIFE!"_ By the end he was yelling. I held back a sob. I didn't know why his reaction made my tearful but I turned away from him, not wanting to have him think I was some weak flower. His face was close and I could smell his breather. I was covered in the sent of smoke and I wanted to yell at him for it but I simply turned and closed my eyes. I would work on that tomorrow. I had a long day a head of me.

**Okay! Tell me what you think! No joke, when I wrote this I actually started to cry! Don't mock me... Just review! I'll put up a new chapter ASAP!**

**-Jasmine**


	3. Chapter 3

**FIRST OFF SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! MY COMPUTER WAS HAVING TROUBLES UPLOADING!**

When I woke up I almost forgot where I was. I sighed and looked at the clock. The sun was just rising and it was 4 in the morning. Perfect. O got up and looked over at Pony. His lamp was still on and we was at his desk, though it was clear he was sleeping. I shook my head and went to go get changed. The house was dark, but I ignored that. Today, for me, was going to be a cleaning day. I got my work cloths and changed. I was wearing old blue jeans and a red checkered shirt. I put my short hair in a pony tail and splashed some water on my face to wake me up.

I started with breakfast. On our ride from the train station Darry had explained the rules and the first one up made breakfast. I went into the kitchen and got out the griddle. It was Sunday. For me Sunday was my favorite day of the week. You see, every Sunday my mum and I would always make rainbow pancakes. I was going to keep the tradition going. I went up and grabbed the food coloring from my bag. I made the batter and put it into six bowls, one for each color. I made about 6 dozen, one of each color and set them on a plate in the table, under which I had put a blazing hot towel so that they would stay warm. I then went to clean the kitchen. It was about 5 now and the kitchen was spotless. I was proud of myself, I had done a good job. I then went on to the living room.

This was going to be a hard good. The carpet looked black, though I went to the corner and discovered that the real color was yellow. I sighed and shook my head. This was sad. I went upstairs and looked around for supplies, careful to be quiet, all the others seemed to be asleep. The boys from before had stayed over. Steve and Two-Bit were sleeping in Soda's room. I soon found carpet cleaner and set to work. It wasn't an easy job but after three hours I was done and the carpet was yellow once again. I went back into the kitchen and re heated the pancakes since they were cold now. I started to hear people getting up and went to go look. I saw Darry rubbing his eyes and walked out into the hall. He looked surprised to see me up.

"Oh, wow. Zoe, I didn't expect you to be up, usually I'm the first up. How long have you been up?" He asked.

"Since four." I told him and he looked shocked.

"What'd you do for," He stopped and looked at the clock, "Four hours?" He finished.

"Well, I cleaned for the most part... well you'll see. If you want I'll wake up the others I made breakfast." I told him. He still seemed to be in a state of shock and went back into his room to get dressed.

I knocked on the door to Soda's room softly and when nothing happened I slowly open the door and walked in. The were sprawled all over the floor. Soda was in bed, upside down and next to him was Steve who had managed to be right side up, while Two-Bit was simply on the floor. I walked over to Soda and shook his shoulder.

"Soda, wake up!" I said. When he didn't I flicked him on the forehead.

"6 times 7 is 42!" He yelled blotting up and falling off the bed and landing on Two-Bit who let out and yell and kicked the bed which knock Steve off the bed. I started to laugh.

"Good job, Soda!" I said and laughed even more at his confused look.

"What?" He asked, putting on a silly grin.

"Come on guys, breakfast is ready, you should get some before it gets cold." I then turned to Soda, "I think that you'll like this." I told him. He gave me a quizzical look, "Their different colors." I told him. He put on a bigger smile and bolted out the door the others behind him. I fallowed them out and when they came to the living room they let a scream.

"What?" I asked them. The stood at the edge of the carpet.

"What happened to the carpet?" Two-Bit asked.

"I cleaned it. Took three hours but it turns out it's really yellow." I told him. Steve gave me a strange look.

"How long have you been up?" He asked me.

"Since four." I told him. He looked at me crazy but shrugged and went into the kitchen, Two-Bit fallowing. Soda stayed and turned to me,

"Thanks for cleaning up, but you didn't have to do that." He told me. I shook my head.

"I wanted to." I told him. He smiled.

"I thought that he signed up for a exchange kid, not a maid." He joked. I sighed and went off t o the kitchen were everyone else was. Darry came in and pointed out the door,

"Did you see the carpet?" He asked and Soda explained with a mouth full of my rainbow pancakes.

"Man these are _great._" Two-Bit said. I smiled at him,

"Thanks." I said. When Darry saw them he gave me a look.

"Rainbow?" He asked. I nodded,

"It's a family tradition, Sunday is rainbow pancake day!" I told him. He just shook his head and went back to what he was doing. The minutes passed and Pony soon came in. He glared at me and went to sit down.

"Did you try to cook again?" He asked Soda, taking a bite a purple pancake.

"Nope, Zoe made them." Soda said and Pony spit out what he was eating.

"Ur, not hungry anymore." He said and went back to his room. I looked out the door with a frown on my face. No one seemed to notice though. I plan came into my mind and I turn to Soda.

"Hey Soda?" I asked. He looked up at me.

"What?" He asked.

"Can you lock the door from the outside of Pony's room?" I asked him. He thought for a moment then nodded.

"Good. I have a plan."

"What are you getting at crazy girl?" Steve asked. I smiled at him.

"You're going to lock me in there with him and not let us out until he has a total change in perspective." I told them.

"You're going to be in there for a long time, girlie." Soda told me but I put a hand on my hip.

"I'm not going to just let him be a shell. I'm going to do something, so are you with me?" I asked. They all though and then nodded. I smiled and walked up the stairs.

When I went into the room, Pony didn't notice, he was at his desk again. I closed the door and I hear Soda click the lock on the outside. For a moment I lost my confidence but I put on a brave face and went up behind Pony. He still didn't hear me, or maybe he was ignoring me. I looked over his shoulder. There was only simple letter in the middle of everything. I was little and crumpled. I looked at it, it was a letter to him for a kid named Johnny. I wondered who that was. Around it were letters back. Most of therm were half finished. I read the one that he was working on.

_Dear Johnny,_

_ I was thinking about what you said, about staying gold. I don't think I can do it. There's this new kind at my house. I hate her, she thinks she knows who I am and what I feel but she doesn't know anything. I wish you were here. I feel like it's all my fault. There are so many things I could have done to have you still here. If I hadn't gone into--_

"What. Are. You. DOING?" He asked me getting up. I stumbled back, scared that he might hurt me.

"Who's Johnny?" I asked. For a second his eyes went soft, they melted and I could see that he was filled with sadness. Though not a second later they hardened up again.

"No one, _you_ need to know about." His voice was cold and his fists were clenched. I looked him over and felt bad for him. Johnny must be one of the kids from the accident.

His lips turned into a thin line.

"He was one of the kids from--" I started but he cut me off by taking a step forward and slapping me across the face. I fell back onto the bed and held my face where it was burning from the hit. I could feel my face contort into a mix of shock and betrayal.

"Don't you _dare_ talk about him! You don't even know him! You have no right to come in here and talk like that!" He yelled. His eyes were burning with hate and anger. Though there was something else mixed in, sadness, fear, guilt? I couldn't place a finger on it. Though right now all I wanted to do was craw under a rock or by in the loving arms of my mother back in England.

The room was silent and I could feel anger just coming from where he was standing.

"Pony," I begged, "Just talk to me." My voice was weak, only coming out as a whisper. Compared to him I felt like a rain drop, while he was the ocean. I was still on the bed and he was towing over me, looking down on me with disgust.

"Why? Why would I?" He demanded. I didn't even know how to describe the look of pure hate on all of his features. It was as if he thought that he look at me hard enough I would catch on fire. If looks could kill I knew that I would be dead.

"I want to help." I squeaked out. Why did I want to do this again? He laughed his cold laugh and something inside me clicked. I didn't need to take this. My body started to act by its self and I stood up. Matching his hight, our faces an inch apart.

"Do you _know_ what you're doing to your family?" I yelled right back to his face. His eyes narrowed as I continued, "They _love_ you! They put up with through this! Do you know how you repay them? YOU GIVE THEM SHIT!" I rarely swore and was surprised when the profanity came out of my mouth. I could feel Pony getting madder and went for the straw that would brake _this_ camel's back.

"You don't love them." I spat out, "You can't love _anyone!_ And no on will **ever** love you back is you keep this up! WE GET IT! You're upset! But you need to get your act together and put on a brave face! They wouldn't want you to be this way! They would want you to life your life! Look around! Is _**this**_ what they wanted for you?" I yelled pushing him and starring stair into the cold eyes that had before scared me but now disgusted me.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" He bellowed, "You don't know what they wanted! Stay out of my **LIFE**!" He stomped to the door and pulled it harshly. When nothing happened he jiggled the knob.

"What the?" He asked.

"You're not leaving until you get your act together." I said. He turned around and growled at me. He then screamed and turned to the wall it and punched it as hard as he could. Then he turned around, eyes closed and slid down the wall.

I instantly felt horrible. I had only wanted to show him what was happening to him. I studied his face. It was showing no emotion, but I wasn't a fool. I looked closer and saw a tear slid down his face.

I stood up silently and sat down next to him. I put my hand on him and started rubbing circles on his back. He sucked in a harsh breath at my touch but soon relaxed. I started to hum. It was an old song. It was both my mother's and my favorite song.

After the song ended his eyes opened and looked at me. His eyes still puffy and red from before.

"How do you know that song?" He asked. I was a bit surprised but answered anyway,

"Um, my mum used to sing it to me when I was sad. It's my favorite song." I told him, blushing slightly.

"So did my mom." He said. I smiled.

"So do you want to talk about it? It will make you feel better." asked him, then added, "It sure helped me with Maddie." He have me a questioning look.

"Who's Maddie?" He asked. I looked up the the ceiling.

"Right now? An angle in Heaven." I told him.

"What happened?" He asked. I smiled at him,

"I'll tell you my story if you promise to tell me yours." He nodded to this and I smiled at him again, this time a small smile was returned. I gave myself a pat on the back, one obstacle down, many more to go.

.Zoe Ann Petro.

**Okay, tell me what you think! I have a question for the next to chapters though. Who would you rather see Zoe get together with and who would you like to be jealous? Just let me know! Thanks for reading! And thanks to all who reviewed!**

**-Jasmine**


	4. Chapter 4

Truth be told, I wasn't really excited about telling Pony about Maddie. I missed her, a lot. She was my best friend and when she left I really did take it hard. Though I sucked in a deep breath and turned back to Pony.

"Maddie is my best friend. She always will be. I was little when it happened, around 8. I would go to her house everyday after school. One day when I was there a fire started. Her parents never made it out. The burned to death in there. Maddie and I were almost out. Then the roof fell in. It was going to hit me and she pushed-" I stopped. I was now crying. The horrible day burned into my memory. I could still hear her pained screams echoing in my ears. I took a deep breath and finished my story, "she pushed me out of the way and the roof fell on her. She died in there and I got out. I still remember what she had said. She had yelled at me to run, that she would be okay. That she was going to stay with her parents." I stopped for a moment and then finished, "I took it hard, I didn't talk to anyone. People would tell me that they were sorry for my loss but I just wanted to yell at them. They didn't know her! They shouldn't pretend to know what I was feeling. I would stay in my room or go out and work on the fields. Then one day my mom locked me in my room and wouldn't let me out until I had a total change. I then saw what I had become. I hated myself. Maddie wouldn't have wanted me to be like this. She would have wanted me to go back to normal and live my life the best I can. So that's what I do now." I finished and looked at Pony he had tears in his eyes. I smiled and put a hand on his arm.

"Your turn. It'll make you feel better." I told him. He gave me a weak smile and asked,

"Where do I start?" I gave a quiet laugh.

"How about at the beginning." I told him. HE then told me his story. He told me everything. I don't know how long we were there but I knew it must have been a while. The only light in the room now what the small lamp on his desk. He told me everything from getting jumped at the movies to Dally killing himself. It was a terrible story and I found both of us crying by then end. I felt bad for Pony, he sure had went through a lot.

"So are you ready to go face your family?" I asked. He smiled, a true smiled and nodded. I was glad, now all I had to get through was school. Wow, in all this drama I had almost forgot that was the real reason I was here!

I went to the door and knocked loudly.

"Soda! Let us out!" I yelled. There was thumping and soon the lock clicked. The door was thrust open and Soda yelled, "BE FREE!" I laughed and walked out, Pony in tow.

We went down to the living room and both sat on the couch.

"Hey guys." Pony said. They all seemed surprised but said nothing except greeting in return.

"Hey, what time is it?" He asked. I pulled up my sleeve and looked at my wrist for a second then proclaimed,

"You know, this really helps when you're wearing a watch!" Pony started to laugh. It was a cute laugh. All the others looked at us, they seemed really happy to see that he was laughing. I liked his laugh and you could tell that all the others missed it.

Darry stood up and asked me,

"Hey, Zoe, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?" I nodded and fallowed him. He then turned to me, a big smiled on his face. Before I even had a chance to say anything I was pulled into a tight hug.

"Thank you so much." He told me. I finally got my breath back after the bone crushing hug and responded,

"It was no problem." He gave me a knowing look.

"We heard y'all. You guys yelled a lot." He told me. I couldn't help but smile at that. I gave him a hug back.

"Thank you for giving me a chance to be in America!" I told him, Pony had told me what it was like for them and how short they were on money, "I can get an after school job and help with the bills." I added. He looked down at me.

"You don't have to. You've already gave us enough, we have Pony back now. That's the best thing anyone could have given. Plus, the exchange group give us a monthly check to help pay for you." He told me. I thanked him one more and we both went back into the room.

I sat down next to Soda on the floor. He looked at me.

"So I never did get to show you around town." He said. I smiled at him.

"We could do that now." I told him. He gave me a look,

"You do know that it dark out now, right?" He asked. I looked out the window and suddenly remember.

"Oh." I said, a sad look on my face. He laughed ans said,

"You guys were in there for a long time."

"Yeah, what were you two doing in there? Hum??" Two-Bit asked. I blushed as did Pony, though he still managed to say back,

"You wish. All we did was talk." To which Two-Bit said,

"Don't you mean, _you_ wish!" Everyone laughed as both of us laughed more. We talked for a bit more and we all got made fun of. I was glad to see that Pony was talking again, he didn't talk a lot but something told me that he never did in the first place. Then Darry stood up and clapped his hands.

"Okay, school tomorrow. Pony, Zoe, time for you to go to bed." We sighed an stood up to go upstairs. Steve then looked at Darry and asked,

"Mind if I stay the night?" Darry looked at him.

"Do I ever?" He asked back and Steve laughed and went to go lay on the couch that Two-Bit had freed when he had left an hour ago, "Looking for Fun." I didn't want to know what that meant. I went up stairs and changed into my Pajamas. I got into bed with a smile on my face. Pony then came in and laid down in his bed and turned out the light.

I was just about to go to sleep when Pony turned to me.

"Hey Zoe?" He asked.

"Yes?" I asked him.

"Thanks." He said, "For everything." I smiled.

"You're welcome, now go to bed, we have a big day tomorrow." I told him. He nodded and we both went to sleep.

Tomorrow was going to be.... different. Though I was still looking forward to it.

.ZoeAnnPetro.

**Okay! Sorry it took so long and it's real short. I'm not really sure what I want to have happen at school yet though I do have a few tricks up my sleeve! Tell me what you think and thanks to all who reviewed last time! I swear that I'll try to update sooner and make the next chapter longer. Any ideas, let me know!**

**-Jasmine**

**ps. I just realized that Zoe's initials are ZAP! Ha! Never thought of that before!**


	5. Chapter 5

I woke to the burden of sunlight in my face. I looked at the clock, it was 5:45. Still a bit early. The night before they had explained that I didn't need to wake up so early. Though I just sighed and got out of bed, I had slept in an hour later than usual. I grabbed some old jeans and blue plaid shirt. I went to the bathroom and took a quick 3 minute shower, not wanting to use up all the hot water. I changed and looked at myself in to mirror. I needed to get a hair cut, my white blond hair was now way past my chin. Though I think I liked it. I put it up into a low pony but left my long side bangs out of the way, even though I knew that they'd find a way back into my eyes. I went back out and saw it was now 6:10, Darry should be getting up soon. I went to the kitchen and took out some bread and butter and a few spices. I took out the frying pan and buttered it as well as the bread. I put it down and sprinkled cinnamon over the top as well as a pinch of ginger. I waited a while then flipped the bread and did the same to the other side. I repeated the process until I had about 14 pieces of toast. I looked at the clock yet again and saw it was 6:30, 15 minutes until Darry should come out to great the day. I took a few eggs and cracked them into a bowl. I added the salt and a lot of milk to make them nice and fluffy. I then put some cheese into the mix because I was feeling artistic. I put them all into the pan and scrambled them. When they were done I took them out and put them in a large bowl on the table along with the plate with all the toast and several smaller plates. I smiled at my work as Darry walked in.

"Oh, morning, Zoe. How long have you've been up?" He asked.

"Since 5:30, I slept in." I told him. He gave a weak laugh.

"If only the others thought that was late. They sleep like the dead." He told me and grabbed a piece of toast. He bit it and gave me a confused look.

"What's this?" He asked.

"That's toast." I told him taking a piece for myself, "Just like we make back home." He nodded,

"Well, it tastes amazing." I smiled and thanked him. I took a bit of the piece in my hand and closed my eyes. I tasted just like home. For a moment I could feel the cool wind blowing on my face from the always open window at my house and hear the bird singing like they did every morning. Though when I open my eyes I was still in the kitchen of a home that wasn't mine with a pang of home sickness falling over me.

"I'm going to go wake up the others." I told him. He nodded and went back to eating.

I went down the hall and opened the bedroom door. Pony was still sleeping so I went over and pushed him slightly.

"Pony, wake up." I whispered in his ear. Then he said something really smart.

"Humph, sleep is important." I giggled and pushed him harder.

"Come on, we have school." I told him. He opened one eye and frowned at me.

"No." He told me. I sighed dramatically and told him,

"Fine, have it your way. I'll just give all the toast to Soda." The words were barely out of my mouth when he shot up.

"Toast?" He asked.

"Yup, made by--" I stopped as to the fact that he was already out the door.

"Odd bloke." I said to myself and left for Soda's room.

Soda was yet again sleeping upside down. I wondered quietly if he had ever been dropped on the head as a child as I remember back to the morning before. I smiled and flicked him on the forehead. Yet again he shot up and gave me an annoyed look.

"Why?" He asked. I smirked.

"Be glad, this time you didn't shout multiplication and knock everything over." I told him. He got a sour look on his face. Though it was gone in a second when he heard the words,

"I made toast." Just like him brother he sprinted out the door and I couldn't help but wonder what was with these boys and toast.

I followed him out the door and saw him pass by Steve sleeping on the couch. HE got an evil grin on his face and jumped on him yelling,

"Wake up! Wake up! There is toast in this building!" I laughed again as Steve grumbled and pushed Soda off him though still got up anyways.

I helped Soda get up and went with him into the kitchen. I was shocked to say the least. All the toast and half the eggs were gone! I was thankful that I had already ate as the only prof that there had even been any toast in the first place was the piece in soda's hand and the one in Steve's both of which were gone in a second.

"Wow." Was all I could say and I got a small plate and served myself some eggs.

"That toast was great." Pony said and Soda and Steve nodded in agreement. I could feel a small blush rise to my face and managed a small, "Thanks."

Just then Two-Bit burst through the front door, closing it with a loud slam to which Pony and I both flinched. He came in a looked at the table.

"Thanks for sharing guys." He told them. I laughed again.

"Well sorry but Zoe makes some killer toast." Pony said. Two-Bit seemed a bit taken aback by the talkative Pony in front of him but said nothing. The took the bowl t hat had the rest of the eggs in them.

"You don't deserve these." He told them. I laughed as he took a bit and a confused look came over his face.

"What?" I asked.

"First you become an expert maid now an expert cook?" He asked. I laughed at the fact that he though I was perfect. I, in truth, was far from it.

"Cooking, cleaning, and school was all I did back home." He got a shocked expression.

"No Micky?" He asked. I was confused. What in the world was "Micky"?

"No what?" I asked. I looked like he was going to faint.

"I show you tonight, you my friend are missing out on a big part of the world." I smiled and gave a weary nod. Not really sure what to do I just stood there. Thankfully Darry came to my aid and told all of us,

"Okay, Soda, Steve and I have to get to work. Two-Bit you get these two off to school."Two-Bit gave a nod and we all went into the living room. I went upstairs to my room and grabbed my white messenger bag that I had with me on the train, only now it have a binder full of paper and pencils. I meet the others in the living room and we headed off the school.

The journey there was silent. Well, silent for me and Pony, Two-Bit wouldn't be quiet. Though when we got to the gates of the school he bid us goodbye and went his own way while Pony and I went off to the office. When we got there there was a large line. When Pony and I finally got to the front I turn suddenly shy so he did the talking.

"Hello, I'm here to get Zoe here signed up. She's an exchange student." He told her. She gave us an annoyed look and motioned for Pony to leave. She then turned to me and told me,

"There are two kids here from 10 different countries, go sit by your country and we'll call you up as soon as we can." Her voice was sticky sweet and I ran to get away from her. I found the United Kingdom and saw a boy already there talking to another boy from Germany. I could only see the back of his head which was totally covered in thick black hair. With a pang of sadness I thought about haw much he looked like my best friend back home, James. I wished that he had been able to come but his parents couldn't afford it. I sat down next to him and cleared my throat. He turned around and I saw his bright green eyes and place skin. Wow, he looked a lot like James.

"Zap?" He asked. I was confused for a second. He even sounded like James. Wait. I didn't know this guy and he called me Zap, my initials. I only knew one person who did that...

"James?" I asked back. He nodded and we hugged. How happy was I that my _best_ friend was here in America with me?

"How did you get here? I thought you couldn't afford it?" I asked him.

"Well, I did a lot of fund raising." He told me. I smiled, I loved him so much, he was like the brother I never had! The lady up front called out,

"United Kingdom!" We jumped up and went to the desk.

"Okay, so you both are going to have the same classes and you'll have your classes with your host family member, or as many as we can." I nodded and James did as well. She handed us our class lists.

"Now, you're halfway through the first class of the day so hurry up and enjoy your time here." With that she sent us out. We looked for our first class, English. It took us a while but we soon found it.

We stumbled in and the teacher glared at us.

"And you are?" He asked.

"I'm Zoe Petro and this is James Arson. We're exchange students from England." He nodded and sent us to the two back seats in the corner. Thankfully Pony was right next to one of them and I sat there. He smiled at me and we listen to our teacher rant about quotes. The rest of the day passes in a blur, before I knew it it was time to go home.

We were standing in the front of the building, James, Pony, and I. Pony seemed annoyed that James was there. He was standing there with his arms crossed and an annoyed look stuck to his face. James was joking around and I was laughing my head off.

"Well I have to go back home, I'll see you tomorrow Zoe!" He said walking away.

"Okay!" I yelled back and turned to Pony.

"Isn't he great?" I asked. He growled and clenched his jaw and stalked away. I fallowed his fast pace and knew that my problem here were just strating. Would it really hurt, for once, to give me a break?

**Sorry it took so long. I feel real bad. I had to do a major essay that counted for a lot of my grade. I'll write more ASAP. That is if ANYONE is READING? I didn't get to many reviews, anyone there?**

**-Jasmine**


	6. Chapter 6

**Just a heads up, the first part is in Pony's Pov, just so you know what's going on. This is the only time I will ever leave Zoe's Point of view.**

I slammed the door and stormed up into my room, ignoring the calls of my name by Zoe. I still couldn't believe what happened today. It was like Zoe was a totally different person! Urg! I hate that _James _kid. Zoe seems to love _him_. If only she knew. I know I don't know him that well but he is EVIL! EVIL! Every time Zoe's not looking he sends me daggers! He even pushed me down the stairs!

I wonder if they had a "thing" backing in England because at lunch today he put his arm around her and she didn't really seem to care, she kind of seemed to like it even. Damn! I thought we had an understanding! I mean I spilled my guts to her! I told her everything! I thought she would be that way with me!

Well... Maybe I should give her a chance to explain. But she should be a bit nicer to me. I'm still having a hard time. I stopped pacing my room and went over to my messy desk. Here I had spent days writing to Johnny and Dally. Sometimes I'll wake up and forget about it, I'll dream about everything being normal. But it's not. I have all the letters here, I think I'll keep them forever.

During my mourning period, that wasn't yet over I just wasn't going to be so open about it, I had changed a lot. I wasn't even sure if I could be the same Pony I was before the accident. How could I "stay gold" when everything else is screaming at me to change. Is that why Robert Frost wrote that? I mean, I had learned about him and he had a pretty messed up life, was he trying to stay gold also? I sighed and sank down in my chair.

Zoe was still pounding on the door and yelling all sorts of threats at me. Like that would really make me leave. I reached in a small box and pulled out my blade. Another thing I wasn't to proud of. I rolled up my pant leg so I could see the small neat scars. Yes, I had really gone that far. I wanted to help Johnny, it was his last dying wish that I would stay gold so as a reminder I carved the small words "stay gold" into my leg. I rolled it down and dropped the blade. I had made a promise to myself that I would try to change for the good of my family.

As mad as I was at Zoe I couldn't deny the fact that she had helped me see what I was doing to the ones I loved. Now that I saw, I couldn't hurt them anymore. When I came down stairs you should have seen the looks on their faces. They all looked so happy, I couldn't hurt them like that. They needed me so I was just going have to go from a "shell" to a "mask", it couldn't be too hard, could it?

Though there was only so much I could do. I was going to have to ignore Zoe. I _had_ to. If I looked in her eyes, I would forgive her. If I forgave her, I was trust her. If I trusted her, I would get hurt. I couldn't help it, I was falling for her. But I could do everything in my power to stop it. If I told her, there was no happy outcome. Either she wouldn't feel the same way and hate me, or she would and then at the end of the year she would leave and brake my heart. There was no good to come from this.

Zoe kept pounding on my door so I sighed and opened it. She opened her mouth to talk to me but I walked past her. I went into the kitchen, she hadn't yet started to follow me, though I knew it was coming, she was still in a stare of shock. Grabbed a piece of bread and started to eat it as Two-Bit came in the door. He walked over to me.

"Hey Pony," He said slapping me on the back, "I saw you fall down the stairs today...." He trailed off and I blushed. As huge grin exploded on his face.

"I missed for girlish blush." He mused. I smiled as much as I could, it wasn't that good but it would have to do. He started to babble on about things as Zoe come in. She marched up to me, totally ignoring Two-Bit and cutting off his rant. I didn't look at here, I was fixed upon the picture behind her left ear. It was a pretty picture, one of the whole family. I studied it while she talked.

"Pony! What is going on? Talk to me! What was that back there? Why did you run off back there? Did I do something? Look at me!" Zoe pleaded. He wanted to cave right there but I couldn't. Two-Bit just looked at us in shock.

"I'm going to just go and find out what's going on at the DX...." He trailed off slowly backing away toward the door. I was going to say I was going with him but Zoe beat me to it.

"I'm right behind you." She told him, her eyes never leaving me face, I could feel them boring in the the side of me head. The both left and I fell to the floor. This was getting hard. What was I going to do?

.~.~.~.~

As Two-Bit and I walked to the DX my mind was racing. Thankfully Two-Bit wasn't really saying anything I needed to participate in. He was telling stories about funny things he had said to teachers and saying hello to people he knew on the street.

What was going on with Pony? He didn't even look at me. What could I have done wrong? I thought back to the day and didn't really see anything that could have been offensive, well he did fall down the stairs but that wasn't in any way my fault. I cut off Two-Bit to ask him a question.

"Do you know what's wrong with Pony?" I asked him. His smiled evaporated.

"I think he's still having a hard time. Try to be really nice to him, he needs the love." He told me. I nodded and the moment was over, he was once again rambling on about something I didn't care about at all.

The love. The love.... He needs the love.... THE LOVE! I felt totally stupid for not seeing before. He must not like me spending some much time with James! Duh! I know what I'll do. I'll write him a really nice note.... in the morning I'll put it on his desk. He'll find it and read it and I'll promise to spend the whole day with him this Saturday! Perfect! I just hope he'll forgive me.

I wonder what's going to happen next year. I'll be back in England. Could that be it? He doesn't want to risk friendship? No, he's smart enough to know that I may live on a farm, but I still have money, I'll write him all year and maybe during the summer I can fly him out, maybe. But I'll have to work really hard for the money. I should start now. I'll look for a job tomorrow. Two-Bit turned around and pulled me wit him.

"Where are you going, I thought that we were going to the DX?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Nah, I just wanted to get out of there. Come on, let's go I'm heading to a party soon and it's already five. You better get home so you can star our dinner." He told me. I laughed.

"Okay, I'll put that at the top of the to do list." I told him. We laughed the whole way home.

When we walked through the door Soda and Steve where in the living room watching TV with Pony. Darry popped his out from the kitchen he was cooking.

"Hey Zoe, Two-Bit." He called.

"Hey." We called back. I went up into my room to write the note. When I finished I put it on his desk and went down for dinner, praying it would work.

_Dear Pony,_

_ About everything that' s happening. I am so sorry. If this is about me spending time with James, I get it. I guess I'll be able to spend time with him whenever, we live in the some country. But I want to be able to spend time with you when I can. I want to get to know you better. This Saturday, we'll spend the whole day together. I promise. Please forgive me. You don't even have to talk to me for the rest of the week, just think about Saturday. I think it will be fun. Just think about it, okay?_

_Pleading Forgiveness,_

_ Zoe Ann Petro_


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the long wait all! I just had NO CLUE what to write! I hope this chapter makes you smile... (or cry) Now I shall give you what you want!**

**-Jasmine**

I don't know what I am going to do on Saturday. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that note. I _must_ have been high. Pony still isn't talking to me. He wont even look at me. James isn't all he used to be either. He's getting all protective and _flirtatious_.

America isn't every I wanted it to be. I wonder if he can hear me at night. Did you know that I'm crying myself to sleep? The others keep trying to talk to me but I just can't find the energy to smile or even talk anymore. Want to know another secret? I haven't talked to anyone in the last three days. The teachers have stopped calling on me, they can never hear my answer because I just mouth the words. I think I may have forgotten how to talk, I don't think I could if I tried.... Tomorrow I get to spend the whole day with Pony though I don't think he is really looking forwards to it. I walked out of the bathroom where I had been crying on the toilet and made the short trip to my bed where I would be able to cry myself to sleep. Though just as I started to move I was quickly stopped. I looked up, painfully aware of my puffy red eyes and the hopelessness they held, and saw Sodapop.

"Hey." He told her, tilting her head up to look her in the eyes. I opened my mouth but only a small groan was let out. A look of worry crossed over his face.

"Zoe, what's wrong with you." He asked me. I felt more tears fall down my face. I shook my head, trying to pull out of the grip he had on my arm. He let is head fall and his grip loosen, just as I was about to go into my room I heard his voice call to me from across the hall.

"We're worried, the gang." I shook my head at that. It wasn't true, Pony wanted me dead, of that I was sure.

"Fine." He said, "Believe what you will, though remember; when you're ready to talk I'll be ready to listen. If you don't want to talk though, you can always write it down and I'll be glad to read it..." He trailed off. I wished I was able to talk right now, but I really can't. I tired to do the most I could, and felt the corners of my mouths twitch, though I couldn't summon the courage to keep it up. Tears still streaming down my face I brought a shaky hand up and put it over my heart and repeated the small twitch of my lips, hoping and praying that he would get the message. He did. He brought his hand to his heart and gave a small smile back, tears falling silently down his face as well. I closed the door on the sight. I couldn't take it, knowing that I was hurting other people. I know that he wanted to make me feel better, like I was loved, but by telling me that... it just made me feel worse. I was starting to feel connected to these people here, I couldn't be responsible for hurting them. I just hope that Pony will start talking to me. I almost feel as if once we make up the birds will sing and James will turn back to normal and I will have a perfect life in America. Though something (pretty much every bit of common senses I had) told me that nothing could change that hate he had for me.

…

I peeled my eyes open to the the large numbers of my alarm clock. I had 15 minutes until Pony would wake up and we would have to start our day together. I forced myself to get up. Do you know how hard this is for me. I have nothing to live for. Why am I even here? I've served my part, Pony is better and talking again and I have learned myself that I will never make my dream come true and I will forever be living on a farm in England. With heavy feet I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

Truth be told, I looked like shit. My eyes were totally red and my hair was stringy and flying in every direction. I whipped my eyes, I was going to try to good for Pony, it was more of a pride thing than any. I brushed my hair and tried not to scream at the pain it was causing me. Finally my hair was back to it's normal self and my eyes were looking.... less tortured. At a first glance someone might think I was... happy. I braced myself and opened the door ready to take what fate might throw at me and a dramatic day with Pony.

May the lord above spare me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay! I updated, I know I said I wouldn't finish this story for a while but I had a sudden idea. I'd get more if you review though! Please review... and sorry for making Pony such an ass in this chapter.**

**Read on!**

**-Jasmine**

I was just sitting at my desk when I heard someone clear their throat. I foolishly look up and felt my eyes look with Zoe's. _Stupid boy._ I thought to myself. For a moment when I looked into her eyes I thought she was happy. Like she was just living her life not caring about me and how much I was in pain. Though the linger I look the more flakes of sadness I was able to see. _What on Earth could be bothering her? She doesn't have anything to worry about._ Though I couldn't help myself. The second I saw the hurt in her eyes I knew that I was in love. This whole week I had been trying to deny it but it was true. I had fallen hard and there was no hope of going back.

She tried to give me a smile but it was more of just a strange grimace. It only added more to my own pain. Didn't she realize what she was doing to me? She is killing me. _Pony, don't do it! She'll be leaving soon. Save yourself the hurt._ Great, it's that damn voice again. You know, it's his fault that I've been ignoring Zoe! Doesn't he realize that it's hurting me now? _You'll thank me later! It's for your own good!_

To Hell with it. I, Ponyboy Michel Curtis, am in love with Zoe Ann Petro. How can I stay mad at her? I bolted up, knocking down a few pencils from my desk in the process. I run up to her an hugged her.

"I know a place where we can just talk." I told her. She nodded, and a few flakes of sadness left her eyes. I smiled, glad to know I was helping. I took her arm and lead her out of the house, calling to Soda that I would be back later.

The walk wasn't very long, but it took some time. I hadn't gone to the clearing in a long time, not since Johnny died. Once we finally got there I jumped over the river and motioned for her to follow. She did and we sat down in the middle of the clearing.

"I love this place." I announced. I had come here with Johnny all the time. We would just sit here in talk. Here, it seemed perfect. Here, there were no Greasers and no Socs. It was just a small clearing in the middle of the forest, surrounded by a small river.

I turned to Zoe. She was watching me with a curious and cautious eye.

"I found with place with Johnny one night. He's parents were beating him again and he didn't want to see the gang. He just wanted to sit and talk. So we walked around for a bit and soon enough we found this place. I love it here. It's just so peaceful. I haven't been here in a long time." I told her, looking out over the clearing, "I was beginning to forget how nice it was here." I was starting to remember why I didn't come here much after Johnny and Dallas died. It reminded me so much of them. All the memories of the times I had been here with Johnny came flooding back. Zoe nudged my arm.

"Talk." She told me. Well, she didn't really tell me. I read her lips, I didn't hear anything. I wasn't sure what she wanted to hear to I just told her about some of the time me and Johnny had come here...

"_Pony!" Johnny called. I turned to him, the smile that was one my face left at once. Johnny wasn't looking that good. He had a bloody lip and bruises covering his arms._

"_Johnny!" I yelled and ran to him, "What happened?" I asked._

"_I went to go see my folks." He told me in a shaky voice. I knew at once what had happened._

"_Come on." I pulled Johnny along, "let's go to the clearing for a bit." Once johnny and I got there, we didn't say or do much. We just sat there in each other's company. That's what we did in the clearing. Sometimes I would read to Johnny or we would talking about getting out of this God damned town. _

"_We should run." Johnny told me. I turned to him, confused. Johnny and I would talk about how nice it would be to run away but we never really thought about doing it._

"_What do you mean?" I asked him._

"_I mean, I'm sick of this! We should get out of here!" He yelled._

"_Johnny, where do you think we're going to go?" I asked him. He stopped his ranting at once. _

"_Didn't you say you knew a place?" he asked me. I shrugged._

"_Well, there is the cottage I found when I went fishing with my dad that one day. You can't mean there, could you?" The house was far off from the town. When we went fishing we would all just stay at the house. No one has used it in a long time. We all stopped fishing after one time Dad fell out of the boat... Long story and not a pretty one. That one outing taught me most of the swears I know._

"_Yea, we can live there and get jobs and finish school." He told me. I shook me head._

"_Johnny, running away isn't the right choice." I told him, "If we're going to leave we're waiting until we're both 18. Okay? And if either of us ever want to run away we just need to remind each other."_

"_Okay."_

When I finished the story Zoe was still just looking at me. She urged me to talk more and I told her other stories about my parents and times with Johnny. I don't think I've ever talked so much before. I looked up, the sun was starting to set. Had I really talked about myself for the entire day?

"What about you?" I asked her. She gave me a confused look so I continued, "You haven't talked this whole time. I want to hear about your family." I told her. She just shook her head though.

"Why?" I asked. She just shook her head. _She doesn't want you to know about her. She doesn't want to open up to you. She hates you, remember?_ Damn it! Not that stupid voice again! I knew it was my fear talking and I knew that it was lying but I could feel my anger building up.

"It's only fair!" I yelled. She shrunk back. STOP! You're scaring her! I tried to calm down but I didn't seemed to be in control of my actions. I couldn't stop yelling.

"I can't believe you! Pick a side!" I screamed, "You're killing me! I can't do anything, you just...! I don't ever know how to act around you! I hate you and you have me open up! We become friends and you ditch me for the James idiot! He's trying to get rid of me!" I yelled, I was standing up now. I wished I would stop but I was out of control.

"He pushed me down the stairs and he glares at me! You love him don't you? DON'T YOU! You don't care about me at all! Why don't you go over and see James, you can all have a right laugh about how much of a fool I am! Just run off to you precious JAMES! I don't matter that I LOVE YOU!"

Oh shit.

Did I just say that? Out loud? I looked down at Zoe, she seemed to be in a state of shock. I guess I did.

"I love you, Zoe." I told her, in a softer voice this time, "Do you even like me?" I asked. She just sat there, she opened her mouth but nothing came out, she was slowing shaking her head back a forth.

No.

That means, no.

"Forget it." I told her. I turned around and ran. I ran away. I need to get out of here and I knew just the place.

The cottage.

**Review?**


	9. Chapter 9

**PLEASE READ THIS MEMO! So sorry for the delay everyone! I was having a bit of the dreaded... _writer's block_! DUN DUN DUN! But I have a few thank yous to give out though before you can go on and read! (I know you want to but just stay with me!) So just READ THIS FIRST! **

**My first thank you goes to CHASE01 for giving me this idea! You rock, dude! **

**I would also like to thank _TYLER4768_, thanks for reviewing the last chapter. (And well all of my stories for that.) Your review you gave me two days ago reminded me of this story and encouraged me to call good old Chase and plot what might happen... So that you! This chapter is for you!**

What just happened? This was all too much. How...? Just... how? This doesn't make any sense. Why would he just run off? Maybe he just went back to the house, embarrassed that he had said he loved me. Wait. He loved me. I would never get tired of saying that. He loved me. Ponyboy loved me! ME! After all this time... How did I not see it? Despite what had just happened I couldn't help but smile at that. He liked, no LOVED me! This was too good to be true.

I sighed and walked back to the house. Hopefully he would already be there and I could explain what happened. Though well I walked in the door I was only greeted by a smiling Two-Bit sitting on the couch.

"Hey, Zoe, I thought you were spending the day with Pony." He wiggles his eyebrows and I fought the urge to smile and roll my eyes.

"I was but..." I trailed off, "He didn't come back here?" Two-Bit's expression changed from joking to worried.

"No, what happened?" He asked.

"It's probably nothing." I told him, it probably was... Maybe he went out for a walk to clear his mind or something. Yeah, that's it. Two-Bit gave me an unsure look but didn't say anything. I looked over at the clock. Time had really flied when I was with Pony. Everyone else would be back soon. Maybe Pony went to the DX to come home with Soda. That would be possible. I sat down next to Two-Bit. He would be here soon. I know it.

A few more minutes passed and soon enough both Soda and Darry walked in the door. No Pony. I sighed, but he'll be back soon. Maybe he fell asleep in the lot again? Yeah, that could happen.

"Hey Zoe, where's Pony?" Darry asked. I looked up at him, working hard to keep the worry off of my face.

"I'm not sure." I told him. I then turned to Soda, "He didn't stop by to see you?" I asked. Soda shook his head. I looked from him to Darry, they both had clear worry written all over their faces.

"I'm sure he'll come home soon, I think he just needed time to think." I assured them. He would be fine.

…

"Zoe, your dinner is getting cold." Darry called to me.

"Not hungry." I told him. He sighed, it was his third time trying to get me to eat and I had a feeling it would be the last. Soda, Darry, and I all had different ways of dealing with Pony being gone. Soda kept wrestling with Two-Bit, I was actually surprised he hadn't left yet. Darry kept cleaning, like EVERYTHING. I? I was just sitting. I hadn't moved since I walked in three hours ago. He would come home. He had too.

…

My eyes snapped open as the clock chimed 12. I had to stay awake. I needed to talk to Pony the second he would come home. He would come home. He had to. He just had too.

…

I sat watching the sun set when Darry put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, he seemed just as tired as me and was hold two cups of coffee.

"Drink. You look terrible." He told me. I was to worried to take offense and just took the cup, sipping on the steaming liquid. Why isn't he here? He should be home. He'll be here!

He has to be.

…

"I'm going to go look for Pony." I told Steve, the only person still at the house. (Everyone else was at work or looking for Pony.) I think I knew where he would go...

"_When I was seven I found the cave." Pony told me. I gave him a confused look and he continued._

"_I had been playing football that day with the family. Darry hit me in the ear face with a football. I actually got a black eye from it." He gave a small laugh at the memory, "Dad made me go home, didn't want me to get more hurt. When I got there Steve was there too, he was looking for Soda. He kept laughing at my eye, which was swelling. I told him where Soda was and to get lost. After that I ran out. I went through the woods behind my house and came across this cave. I went back home and grabbed the cake and a blanket. I just hung out there for a while, and I fell asleep. I came back the next morning and my mom freaked out. She had even called the police! I never told anyone about that..." _

The cave! Why didn't I see that before! Maybe he came home and got something. Two-Bit could have been to caught up in Micky to notice him come and go, he probably just fell again... Yeah, that was it... He had to be there. He had to be.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay! Back on track. Sorry for the wait, the school year starts and every things gets thrown out of whack. I hope this chapter is a good one and remember, reviews make me happy and a happy author writes more! See how it works? It's a good cycle!**

**READ ON! I OWE YOU THAT MUCH!**

**-Jasmine**

**Ps. This chapter is for Chase01 for reminding me that I needed to write. You rock, Chase!**

I ran out the door. He would be there! He would be there! I quickly found the cave.

"PONYBOY?" I called out. I heard my voice echo back to me and stuck my head in. I saw a dirty cake pan with a fork in it and a small worn blanket. No Ponyboy.

No Ponyboy.

If he didn't come here, then where? I sighed and walked back to the house. I could feel a lump growing in my stomach and trying to hold back the tears... Don't cry... Pony wouldn't want you to cry. I couldn't stop it. When I walked back into the house my eyes were red and puffy, tears were rolling down my checks and I couldn't stop them. When I walked in Two-Bit and Steve looked up from they're places on the couch.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked.

"He's gone!" I cried and clutched the door frame. Steve stood up and walked over, feeling my forehead.

"He'll be back, Zoe." Two-bit told me.

"She's doesn't look too good." Steve called out to him. Why is the room spinning? Can't they talk quieter?

"It's my fault." I told Steve. He looked down at me, confused.

"Why?" He asked. I kept seeing black spots... I had to tell someone...

"He said... loved me... I didn't... but I... do..." With that blackness invaded and I felt myself go weak. I barely felt Steve catching me yelling, "HEY!" and Two-Bit running over yelling, "ZOE!"

…

I woke up in my bed with Sodapop next to me.

"Pony..." I groaned, hoping he was there. Soda hushed me.

"Don't talk..." He told me. I nodded, though regretted it, because it only made my head throb more.

"Pony isn't here right now... He's stilling missing." I felt the lump forming again but didn't cry this time, I had cried enough.

"What...?" I managed to ask.

"You fainted." Soda informed me, dabbing my forehead with a cool towel. I felt relief at the coolness and thanked him in my head for knowing it was just want I needed. I needed to clear my mind, it was my fault that Pony was gone and I was going to bring him back.

"When can I get up?" I asked. Soda sighed.

"I'm not sure if you should go out looking for him again." He told me, it was like he read my mind. But I had to, he didn't get it. I needed to see Pony! I just NEEDED him!

"I have to." I croaked. He smiled and shook his head.

"I guess you can go out and look tomorrow. Just try and rest today, okay?" He told me. I frowned but agreed. I could use the sleep...

…

I looked around the room for a clue. It had been a horrible week in school. All the questions about Ponyboy... I didn't know anything. The teachers thought I would be able to think about my work, how would I be able to think! My beloved was missing! Where could he have gone? I was sitting at Pony's desk, there had to be a clue here SOMEWHERE. I looked through some of his letters to Johnny and Dallas, nothing there. Just a lot of angst. He had a lot of books there, maybe he ran away to a library... I finally saw a picture of him and his father. They were standing in front of a cabin. On the back it read, "Pony and Dad camping for the weekend." Below was the address. I smiled. Bingo. It made perfect sense, he liked to be in places where he's loved ones had been. The cabin seemed like a great place for him to be.

The Cabin.

I quickly ran around and put a few cloths in a bag along with some money and food. I had two days until school started again and I wasn't going back without Pony. I couldn't stand another week like this one... I would leave tonight...

…

Dinner was horrible. All the dinners have been horrible. Darry and Soda are taking Pony missing really hard. I don't even talk anymore... Two-Bit tries to make jokes but no one really listens. None of us are feeling good. It'll only get worse, what will the state do. They could take him away...

"Zoe." Darry called to me just as I was heading up for the night.

"Yea?" I asked. He gave me a grim smile.

"Thanks for being so helpful the last week. Pony being gone is hard enough. At least we have someone else to help think about something else... Just... thanks." I smiled.

"You're welcome." I told him and went into my room. I was going to break Darry's heart. Why did he have to go and say that? It's hard enough to just leave... But I'll come back with Pony... I know I will. I grabbed the picture off the desk and quickly wrote a note.

_Darry and Soda,_

_ Thanks for keeping me safe. I just, need to do this. I'm getting Pony. I know where he is. I just do. I'll be back my Monday, I have to go alone. Don't bother looking for me. I'm coming back and I'm coming back with Pony._

_Love,_

_Zoe_

I put that on my bed and waited for the house to go quiet before I slipped out the door and started for the cabin. I would find him.

I WILL find him.

I can't live without him and I'm not coming back without him.


	11. Chapter 11

**OKAY! Here's another chapter! I hope to update this soon! So... read ahead! And please review! I think you're going to like this chapter...**

**-Jasmine**

It didn't take as long as I thought for me to get to the cabin. I had managed to get a ride with a friendly stranger going the same way. In total I was there, standing before it, in three hours. I felt my stomach flutter when I looked in. The lights weren't really on... I nervously knocked on the door. No answer... I opened it anyways and rushed in.

Empty.

What had I missed? Why wasn't he here? Where else could he have gone? I screamed in rage and fell to the floor. This was not happening. Where on Earth could he be? I threw the picture on the floor. I wanted it to burn. I couldn't stand to see the smiling face of the younger Pony. It sickened me. But at the same time... All I wanted was him to just walk do the stars and come and hug me. Kiss me... I saw something poking out from under the picture. In my hurry had I grabbed something else? I reached down and picked it up. It was another photo. On the back it read, "_Ponyboy and Sodapop – Last year at the cottage_" There he was, smiling again. In a haze of red rage I ripped the picture in half. I was about to rip it again when I realized something.

I was stuck here with no other clues to where Ponyboy could be. Why not check to cottage?

It was a pointless thought but I was running out of options. I looked at the address on the back, it was actually not too far... just walking I could get there by tonight. But what was the point? Pony hadn't been here, what chance was there that Pony was hiding in a cottage. A cottage of all things! But there's still a hope. I should still try...

…

My feet are in so much pain. I don't think I ever want to walk again. Ever. But... here I was, just in front of the cottage. Pony wouldn't be there though. What's the point? There were no lights on in the house, he wasn't there. I sighed and walked in anyways. I looked around, hoping to see him there, sitting in the dark, maybe lost in thought.

Nothing.

I fought back the tears and turned on my heel. He was gone, and he wasn't ever going to be there again. I looked around at where I was. It was late, and there couldn't be any harm to stay for the night. It was that or be on the streets.

It was small cottage, not much there. There was an upstairs that lead right into the bed room and a small kitchen. It smelled so much like lilac that I was almost chocking. Though after I opened a window the smell lessoned and my fear of suffocating was fixed. There was a stray blanket on a chair and a book under it. I walked over and started to flip through the book. Maybe they had left it there when they went back. Or maybe there was another family spending time in the cottage now. That would be a shame, but hopefully they wouldn't come around while I was there. That wouldn't be a nice thing to explain. I would probably start crying. I sat down in the chair and read the book, turning on a table lamp.

It was a cute book, nothing hard to read. It's was full of bedtime stories. It smiled, even in England I had heard a few of these stories. When Ponyboy was little did he fall asleep to these stories? I could see it happening. I smiled. Ponyboy must have been cute as a little boy, it was easy to imagine him curled up on his mother's lap as she told him a story. Did he plead with his parents to let him staying up just five minutes longer like I had? That would be funny. After an hour had passed I walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. The bed seemed like no one had slept in it for a while so I figured that it was okay and that no one would suddenly come in and throw me out. I laid down on the bed. I didn't bother getting under the covers, it wasn't my home and I would only be there for the night. I looked at the night sky from out the window. It was beautiful, a nice clear sky full of stars. When I had been in Tulsa the stars weren't so clear but now it was just like when I was home. It was nice, and sweet. I feel asleep thinking about Ponyboy. I hoped he was alright. I wouldn't be able to live if he had been hurt. Horrible pictures started to flood my mine. A lifeless Pony, laying dead on the street in a puddle of his own blood.

Pony, beat up and stuck in an ally to die because he couldn't find the energy to move.

Pony, dead with a crazy smile on his face, a bullet hole in his forehead.

I let out a cry of anguish as I tried hard not to think about it. Pony would be smart enough not to let that happen... He wouldn't want to worry his family, worry his friends, worry...

me?

But if he had time to worry about that he would be using his head. Pony didn't use his head, that was common knowledge. But he wouldn't want to worry his brothers, that was why he had wanted to come back the last time he ran away.

But what if he couldn't?

What if Pony had gotten stuck in another murder wrap! What if... what if he went back to the church.

The church would have been a great place to hide! It was a great place to hind the first time! But wait, it had been burning in the fire. It wouldn't do... But then... where? Where could he-

My thoughts were cut short by the sound of a door closing. I tensed up. I thought that no one would be coming to use the house. What if it was a murderer? I quickly looked around the room for something to use as a weapon. In the corner I found a baseball bat. I quickly hurried over and grabbed it. I peaked down the stairs and saw a man standing by the chair looking at the light. Shot! I hadn't turned it off! I quietly went down the stairs until I was right behind the man. He wasn't that much of a man, more like a teenage boy... I raised the bat and struck him in the back of the head. He feel to the ground with an ungraceful THUMP. I smiled at a job well done but screamed when I saw who I had hit.

"Ponyboy?" I whispered in a horrified voice.


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay! Sorry for the wait! Keep the reviews coming! I tried not to make this one as much of a cliff hanger!**

**-Jasmine**

You have never knows guilt like I have until you have hit the man you love in the head with a bat. To add to my guilt when I woke up the next morning he was still asleep. I spent all morning pacing. The guilt in the room was tangible. Though finally around noon he woke up. I rushed over to his side at the bed. All I wanted to do was apologize but I had something else I needed to say first. The second a green-gray eye opened I yelled out,

"Ponyboy Micheal Curtis, I love you!" Then I kissed him. IT was the sweetest kiss of all time. (or it was to me.) It was my very own first kiss. Oh the treasures America had to offer. After I pulled away Pony gave me a funny look and sat up, grabbing his head where I had hit him.

"Wow." He mumbled, "I must have hit myself harder than I thought..."

"Pony?" I asked wearily, totally confused by what he was saying. He gave me an annoyed look.

"Zoe." He told me, saying the words like they were almost hurting him, "It's bad enough that the only thing I can think about it you. Please, don't let me starting imagining that you came to find me." I was shocked.

"Pony." I told him in a scared time, "You're not imagining things, I'm really here. I really am." Pony just looked at me for a moment, not saying a word. He looked at me like I was the only things in the world, he savored me as if I was going to disappear at any moment. After what left like forever he squeaked out,

"Zoe?" I smiled.

"I'm here." My vision started to blur and I realized that I was crying. Pony pulled me into a loving hug. I felt my hair begin to get wet and realized that _he_ was crying too. We stayed like that for who knows now long. It was dark when we both realized that we had a home we needed to get to. Pony put his head in his hands.

"I'm such a fool My brothers must be _so_ worried," I nodded in agreement and suddenly felt really bad for leaving them like that. He was silent for another long while so I just sat there. I was happy where I was, just lying in bed in Pony's arms. The moon was shining through the small window and the world had just seemed to stop. It gave me a good feeling. Some how I knew things were going to be alright, they had to be.

Right?

…

When we got home I felt a large lump rise in my throat. I could see Darry just looking at us through the window. When we both walked in we weren't even able to get a word out before we were crushed in a death of hugging. After that had finally settled down Darry gave me a disapproving look.

"You said you would only be gone for the weekend." He stated. I looked down at me shoes, feeling really bad. I was gone 4 more days than I thought. (Pony and I had a bit of trouble getting home.) Then Darry's disapproving look turned to one of sadness.

"Zoe." He told me, "It's bad when someone staying with you goes missing. We thought that you were dead. And Pony..." He turned to his little brother, "Do you now how lucky you are that the state didn't find out?" He trailed off. I felt panic rise within me. What was he getting at?

"What's going on Darry?" Soda and Darry just looked at their feet, clearly having trouble saying what they were about to say.

"what's going on?" Pony asked, his voice was louder than mine. He slipped an arm around my waist and whispered, "Don't worry, it will be fine." I wished I believed him but the tone of Darry's voice was frightening. When soda saw how close Pony and I were he gave me a look that clearly was apologetic. It only worried me more.

"What happened?" I asked again.

"I'm sorry." Soda said.

"What?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"We were scared," Darry said, as if me knowing that would make everything better.

"And?" Pony asked, his voice was deadly calm.

"We called the services." He said quietly.

There was exactly a 5 second pause before he continued in which Pony took 2 deep breaths, Soda scrunched his eyebrows together 6 times, and Darry blinked 4 times. During those five second I felt like my heart was going to explode.

"Why?" I asked, my voice was thick and I couldn't stop the knot that was growing in my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick. This was not happening. This was not happening. This was not happening. This was not happening. This was not happening!

"You have to leave." Soda whispered. Pony tightened his grip on me.

"NO!" He yelled, "No." He then said again, quieter, "I wont let them take her." Darry hung his head.

"I don't really think that you have much say in this, kiddo."

"I don't care!" Pony told him, "We'll run away for something."

"Pony..." Sodapop reasoned, "Running away is what got you here." We were all quiet. Pony looked down at me, I saw that he was crying.

"I'm sorry Zoe." He told me, "I really am. This is all my fault." I tried to smile at him and prayed it didn't look to bad. He gave me a weak smile back before turning to his brothers again.

"How long does she have?" Darry and Soda exchanged a look.

"One day." Darry told him. One day. I only had one more day with the love of my life.

I felt my world fall apart.


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay. I normally don't do this... but I just had to... so REVIEW!**

**-Jasmine**

Watch Zoe leave was like getting my heart yanked out from my chest. After all that was happening... she was just leaving. I knew that it had to happen but I didn't think that it would happen so soon. Our last day together was horrible. None of us had much to say. All we could think about was what was going to happen. I had no idea what to do. It's not like I could do much. What could I do? Hope on a plane and fly back to England with her? Yea, like _that_ was going to happen.

I couldn't stand to be around my brothers. They did this. Why did they go and call the services! WHY? This was one of the worst things that had ever happened to me.

The next morning we all took Zoe to the train station where she would leave us for good. Even Two-Bit and Steve showed up.

"Good-bye everyone. It was great being here. I had a lot of fun." She told us. She talked in a happy voice but I could see how sad she was. It was a wonder she wasn't crying. Maybe she was just stronger than I thought.

"You have to write me, Pony." She told me. I tried my best to smile at her.

"Everyday." She nodded.

"That would make me happy." I sighed. It wouldn't be the same but if it would make Zoe happy... well I would write every day if it would keep her happy.

"Ponyboy?" She asked me.

"Yea?"

"Be nice to your brothers." She advised. I looked over at my brothers and the rest of the gang. They were all looking away, trying (and failing) to look like they weren't listening in.  
"I'll do my best." I promised. I would. Or, try. It would be hard knowing that they were the ones who made the call but if Zoe wanted me to talk I would.

"I'll miss you." She whispered, taking a step toward me.  
"I'll miss you, too." She smile a sad smile and the next moment we were kissing.  
I loved kissing Zoe. She was my first kiss and my second and third and forth... Every time I kissed her it seemed better than the one before. I would going to miss her so much. Not amount of writing and letters would ever fix that. After a long while I heard Darry clear his throat and we pulled apart.

"Good-bye." She told me again and kissed me one last time before leaving. I turned and walked back with my brothers. For the first time ever Steve didn't tease me for being with a girl. He ever put an arm around my shoulders.

"It'll get better." He told me. I wish I was able to believe him. It seemed like my life was over, what was the point in going on, really?

…

I could tell that my brothers were worried but I didn't care. It was 6 ½ days since Zoe left and it felt like Hell. The worst part was seeing James in school every day. He would just give me this smile that made me want to push him off a cliff. One day he went too far.

"Hey Pony!" He called out.

"What James." I asked, I was in no mood for him.

"When I get back to England, is there anything you want me to tell Zoe?" The look on his face was so smug it made me want to vomit. I growled.

"You leave her alone!" I yelled and jumped on him. I went crazy, all I could see was a red haze of anger. After a while I felt Steve pull me off of him with the help of Two-Bit and some other kid.

"Calm down, Ponyboy." Steve told me and I wanted to slap him. I would have if Two-Bit hadn't been holding my hands. When I saw how bloody James was I felt a bit better. Though the look on his face. He seemed confused, like he couldn't figure out why I did what I did.

After that day Steve was a lot closer to me. I spent a lot more of my time hanging out with him. He showed me how to fix cars and I was getting pretty good at it, too. It was really helping me forget Zoe. Though every night when I laid down in my bed I could help but remember the good times me and Zoe had. It seemed like a long lost childhood memory. Sometimes I even found myself asking if it even ever happened. Did I ever meet Zoe Ann Petro? Then, I would feel my lips and remember our kisses.

Yes. I had and it was the bes thing that ever happened to me. But now?

It was gone.

_She_ was gone.

…

It was Saturday afternoon and I had nothing to do. I had already cleaning the house and finished my homework. I would have gone over to go visit Steve and Soda at the DX but I was there all day after school yesterday and I didn't want them to just get sick of me. So I was running out of things to do. I looked down at the carpet and smiled, remembering how shocked everyone was when Zoe cleaned it. I flipped through the channels and finally stopped on some stupid Spanish soap-opera. I was just about to fall asleep when there was a knocking on the door. I didn't know who one Earth it could be but opened the door anyways. When I saw who it was a growled.

"What are _you_ doing here, James?" I asked. He looked down in shame.

"Look..." He told me, and looked around, "Can I come in...?" He looked scared, like someone was going to spring up and jump him. Which they might, he was looking mighty Soc-y. I stepped aside and let him in.  
"What is it? I asked. He smiled at me and held up three small rectangular pieces of paper.

"You love Zoe. Much more than I could ever and you make her happy... go see her." He told me and handed me the paper. They were plane tickets. Three plane tickets, to England. For me, Darry and Sodapop. So we could see Zoe.

Zoe.

"Thanks." I barely managed to say before me gave me a small smile and left. Just... left. I looked again at the tickets. This... could NOT be happening.


	14. Chapter 14

**Yes. It has been long! I'M SORRY! I was just doing a lot of work with another story of mine... (Maybe check it out!) But I didn't forget this one! The end is coming... REVIEW!**

**-Jasmine**

If there was one thing I learned it is that I couldn't WAIT until Saturday. If I had thought waiting was bad before... never before had I just wanted days of my life to be over. It's funny how waiting does that to you, makes you just waste your life waiting for the next thing to come. (Or at least thats what a hippie told me when he saw me pacing...) Three more days... Three more days... Three more days...

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If there is one thing I learned it is that Wednesday is my least favorite day of the week. Why? It was the day that I was forced to go back to school. I had a few days off to "get back into the swing of things" but now they wanted me to go on acting like nothing had happened! It was an OUTRAGE! Something DID happen. Something that I will NEVER come back from. I fell in love.

Then had my heart ripped out be soul sucking monsters that want me to burn a painful death!

Well, congratulations soul sucking monsters.

Mission accomplished.

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If there is one thing I learned it is that James can be a very confusing person. Saturday, (Not the upcoming Saturday [which will prove to be the most amazing Saturday in my ENTIRE LIFE] but the Saturday that Zoe... well, you know.) he gives me three round trip tickets to England so we can see her! (Sadly, they're not that good, we really can't stay all too long, but on the plus side, they were a gift and we didn't have to pay for them. So I guess I really can't be all too picky.) Though today, Thursday, he hit me in the face with a basket ball. A very nice thing to do. I don't know about you weird folk on the "other side of the pond" but HITTING PEOPLE IN THE FACE IS NOT HOW YOU MAKE FRIENDS HERE!

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If there is one thing I've learned it is that cats should not be trusted with watermelons. I was finally back working on the farm when we got some watermelons from a neighbor as a welcome home gift. I love watermelons, they're probably my favorite food in the world. I was planning on making watermelon freezies. (You just mush up some watermelon, put it in the ice box... you know you deal.) Well, I have a very ice little kitty cat. (She's a stray, we found her in the corn field looking for food.) Now, Algra might be very good at cuddling with you and making you feel better but she is ALWAYS getting into trouble! It's crazy. So, I was just sitting in my room, painting a picture, (And you'll never guess who it was of, and I'll never tell you if you were right. Though, it may have been a nice little American boy I had fallen in love with.) when I hear this really loud crash from the kitchen! I run in there and Algra is on the floor, covered in mashed up watermelon. Needless to say, Algra was cold and I was hungry.

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If there is one thing I have learned it is that "tomorrow" has never been farther away. Really. It's even worse because I know that Zoe doesn't even know I'm coming! I want to surprise her. I can't wait to see how happy she will be! I can only imagine how this is feeling for her. Oh, I hope she isn't feeling as bad as me. It's like... a part of my soul had been ripped out. (As dramatic as that sounds,,,, along with PAINFUL!) I will not be able to sleep tomorrow that is for sure. I don't think the phrase "Thank God It's Friday" has ever been so true. The gang has been really nice about her being gone though. They don't try to avoid her like she died or something. (OH GOD FORBID SOMETHING LIKE THAT EVER HAPPENS!) They talk about her as if she's an old friend that moved away. (Which I guess she really is.) To make it even better, Darry's being real good to me. He doesn't really ever holler at me anymore. (Which is a blessing.) Sodapop is still the silly brother he is. Two-Bit, well, he's keeping us all laughing and only says his name in an English accent. Steve, well, we're doing good. We're working on some stuff together. He's trying to teach me some stuff about cars. I'm a bit of a failure but I learn fast! (Kind of.) I just, hope things get better. I wish... I wish there was some way I could bring Zoe back home with me. She belongs in America. She belongs with me. With that thought, I go back to writing letters. I promised I would, everyday. So I will, even if it kills me.

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If there is one thing I've learned it's that a good walk through a wheat field can really make you feel better. I really miss Pony, it's crazy how much I do. You would think I would just move on but I can't! I should, there is NO possibility that I will ever see him again. (It's not like he can just jump on a plane and see me for a few days.) So I went out into the field for a while. I like going there, it's like my safe place. When I'm there, the world around me just fades away. Pony isn't in another country, he's right next to me. The gentle blow of the wind pushing my hair from my eyes, it isn't the wind, it's him. When the branches of the trees brush together it isn't just noise, it's him.; saying "I love you." When the sun shines down and warms up my skin, my lips. It's not the light kissing me, it's him. I lay down on the ground and wrap myself up in a blanket. It's not the blanket keeping me warm.

It's him.

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If there is one thing I've learned it is that Sodapop is not a good person to sit next to on an airplane. If I thought it was annoying to try and sit through a movie with him... a plane ride to England was even worse. I was sure my brain was going to explode. It's that or a bullet it going through his. The sooner we get on the ground the better.

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If there is one thing I've learned it is that sleeping in a wheat field is not very good. My back was killing me and my hands were numb. Though, I was also the most relaxed I had been in a while. So that was a good thing. It is a shame that I had to get relaxed THAT way. Maybe I'll just try a hot bath next time. When I finally get back to the cottage that is a mile away from the farm I drank some nice hot tea. I helped but there was still a coldness to me. Maybe it was the cut in the middle of my heart.

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If there is one thing I've learned it is that I truly am an idiot. Once I got off the plane I realized something horrible. Yes, we did have a place to stay, that wasn't the problem. No... This whole time I've been so focused one what I'll do once I finally get to see Zoe. Well, Zoe isn't going to be just waiting for me at the bottom of the plane. Just because I'm in England doesn't mean I'm with her...

If there is one thing I've learned it is that even though Zoe knows pretty much my entire life story and everything about me... I don't even know where she lives.


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